Pearls & Vodka

Dear John…a rebuttal to one pastor’s letter to Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Dear Sarah,

Dear John,

I’ve been trying to reach you for a few days, but I know you’ve been busy lately with this whole White House Correspondents Dinner business—which I imagine you’re already pretty sick of talking about.

I bet Sarah has had a little more going on than just the WHCD business. But yeah, I bet she is pretty sick of talking about it also. 

Honestly, I am too.

See, we can find common ground.

Please know this has nothing to do with that.

This is about you—and it’s about Jesus. (Well, sort of.)

I agree with the “sort of” part. I’m not sure I know this same Jesus you speak of. 

You see, I’m a Christian and I’ve heard you claim that you’re a Christian too—and watching you work recently, it got me thinking:

How does she do it?

What I mean is, how do you reconcile your supposed faith in Jesus of Nazareth, with your current position as a mouthpiece for this morally malignant President?

Morally malignant, that’s a good term. One that some might have used to describe David, you know “the man after God’s own heart.” Not that Donald Trump is anything like David. Well except those similarities around adultery, and holding a place of leadership. 

As a professed Christian, how do you make peace with the reality that you regularly mount the largest bully pulpit in the nation—and you lie for a living on behalf of a serial predator?

I continue to see this narrative about SHS lying. Do you have specific examples? Do you have specific examples that you can prove Sarah knew something differently at the time she spoke than what she delivered? Do you think there’s any chance perhaps she told the truth to the best of her knowledge and maybe, just maybe, the guy you despise you know, the “morally malignant” one maybe didn’t give her all the information and she simply delivered what she knew in that moment? I know, I know, that narrative doesn’t sound as salacious as you’d prefer. 

How do you square your Christianity with the realization that you are the most visible and vocal surrogate for a man who is by nearly every measurement—fully devoid of Christlikeness?

Yikes! John! Judging another person. Which verse in the Bible gives you the authority to do that? You’ve deemed Trump fully devoid of Christlikeness. I’m not defending his words or behaviors, but I am curious if you believe that all sin is equal? Or is that one of those verses that don’t fit your narrative either?

Look, all Christians (myself included), feel some measure of fraudulence as we live this life while claiming we’re trying to perpetuate the character of Jesus in the world.

OK, good, at least you are tracking on the idea that you have no authority to judge another person’s walk with the Lord.

None of us can avoid the hypocrisy inherent in professing faith in a perfectly loving, compassionate, merciful Savior—while being profoundly flawed human beings. That tension and duplicity are ever-present.

OK, so you do read the same Bible as me. 

But this isn’t that.

Well of course not, that wouldn’t fit the narrative.

This is about actively working for the opposition.

Opposition, being the Republicans?

This is about purposeful betrayal of your namesake.

I don’t think Mike or Janet Huckabee would agree she has betrayed their name, as that is her “namesake.” Wait, did you mean namesake in Christ? Well you are right there, none of us can live up to that name. 

This is about conspiring with the enemy.


I watch you every week as you repeatedly distort the truth, as you attack journalists who come carrying facts.

Who’s facts? Which journalist do you know was in a room and received the same first hand information from the horse’s mouth (Trump)? Oh you don’t know someone that was also there and received the same details Sarah did. OK, well there goes that theory too…

As you vilify politicians who oppose your employer’s malfeasance.

You do understand that is the entire premise of politics and both sides have done that since there became such a thing as “both sides.”

As you categorically defend his every vile statement, every personal attack, every nonsensical Tweet, every baseless firing, every legislative assault.

Oh, you mean like every other person who has held the same title since the first Press Secretary George Akerson during the Hoover administration?

I watch your face contort with the unmistakable tells of a person who doesn’t believe a word they’re saying; one who’s sold their soul and is now hopelessly trapped in a lie about a lie about a lie.

Did your face contort while you were writing this? Mine does when I say or write things judging another person. Just wondered if you had that same type of conscience.

I wonder what Jesus-story you tell yourself, about the fact that every week you stand in front of a microphone and willingly perpetuate falsehoods that do great harm to millions of people?

Again, what exact examples did you have on the falsehoods? I keep hearing that narrative and yet no one gives exact examples because as I mentioned earlier, they have absolutely no clue what she was told and what she wasn’t told. In every court of law you’d need more evidence than you just decided what she said was a lie, when she said it. 

That has to be rough—or maybe it isn’t.

Maybe it’s a breeze for you now.

Like anyone could find being berated, belittled and badgered for doing your job, and doing it well, a “breeze.”

Maybe you’ve convinced yourself it’s somehow all the Lord’s work.

Maybe you’ve been on this slippery slope of deception for so long that you actually believe the lies now too.

Which conversation did you sit in on with Donald Trump and Sarah to know exactly what information she was given? Oh wait, that’s right, none. 

Or maybe your Jesus and my Jesus are just that different.

Knowing Sarah and her faith, you are right about this. She doesn’t believe in a God that promotes judging one another. 

Maybe your Jesus is good with deporting immigrants.

Just wondering how you feel about Romans 13:1-2. You know, the one that says, “Obey the government, for God is the one who has put it there. There is no government anywhere that God has not placed in power. 2 So those who refuse to obey the laws of the land are refusing to obey God, and punishment will follow.”

Pretty sure Sarah believes if you came here LEGALLY, you should be here LEGALLY. It’s that whole breaking the law thing that really throws a hitch in the narrative. 

Maybe your Jesus celebrates the poor staying poor.

Poor staying poor…what about those that have gotten a bonus from the tax cuts? Or have found jobs in businesses that have opened new offices under the new policies. 

Maybe your Jesus is fine with affairs with porn stars.

Noah was a drunk, Abraham let his wife have sexual relations with other men, Isaac had his wife conceal their marriage, Rebekah was a master manipulator, Jacob was a pathological liar, Rachel was a kleptomaniac, Reubuen slept with his father’s concubine, Moses lost his temper (a lot), David concealed his adultery with a murder (not even hush money)….and Jesus loved them all the same.

Maybe your Jesus is totally cool with supremacist Cabinet members.

Ever heard the story of Zacchaeus? You know the chief tax collector in Jericho. Yeah, he’s the same one that Jesus demanded to stay at his house and spend time with him. Hmm…he’d be what you’d call a “supremacist Cabinet member.” And Jesus even found a way to love him, and save him. 

Maybe your Jesus amens the banning and the wall-building. 

Maybe your Jesus sanctions the fear of brown people.

Sanctions the fear of brown people. Surely you aren’t implying Sarah has a fear of brown people. She was in my wedding, where I married a person of color. Oh, are you saying Trump is fearful of people of color? Don’t tell Ben Carson the HUD Secretary, but then again, I guess he’s one of those “supremacist Cabinet members.”

Maybe your Jesus is pleased with sick people going broke trying to not die.

Have you seriously priced the exchange health policies? My family with two salaries, making well over 100K a year could not afford the exchange when we were between insurances. I assure you, we would go broke trying not to die under Obamacare. 

Maybe your Jesus applauds the racism and the bitterness and the cruelty.

You know what my son calls Sarah? Aunt Hucky. My son is another one of those people of color you referenced. And she’d be right at the front of the line to defend him against any act of cruelty. 

Maybe your Jesus somehow blesses the lies you broker in on behalf of the monster you work for.

I’m not saying Trump hasn’t given Sarah some false information, or half of the story, or the changed the story. But it’s only a lie if you knowingly tell a false story. If you tell what you know, when you know it, to the degree you know it, that is not a lie. 

If that is your Jesus, Sarah—then know you are evangelizing brilliantly right now.

You are right John, she is showing an entire world what living as a person of faith, class, dignity, integrity and intelligence looks like. 

You are spreading the Gospel of that Jesus exponentially.

You are right again, there are little girls out there that are seeing they can be women of faith and have very powerful jobs. 

You are a powerful preacher of that Jesus to the watching world.

Yep, agreed.

But for my money, that Jesus is the reason so many people want nothing to do with Christianity anymore.

I have to agree John, the Jesus you are representing would completely drive me away from Christianity as well. Luckily, I believe in the Jesus that loves all people, judges no sin greater than the next and encourages instead of tearing down. 

It’s why the Church is hemorrhaging.

Folks like Paige Patterson telling abused women to stay with their husbands is exactly the Church is hemorrhaging. 

It’s why the pews are emptying.

It might be the hate being spewed from the pulpit. I’ve liked a lot of stuff you have posted in the past, but this entry alone would have made me clear out of your pews. It’s got so much hate in it and that’s not my Jesus at all. 

It’s why people run from Christians.

Yep, if the only Christians I knew belittled me and attacked me like you did Sarah in this blog, I’d run too. 

I imagine you feel that thirty seconds of jokes from a comedian is terrible treatment; that you feel unfairly bullied, that feel that you didn’t deserve to be personally attacked.

Wonder what all those aborted babies thought of the jokes about them?

I imagine you feel like an innocent victim in all this.

I don’t think Sarah feels innocent, but those babies that Michelle Wolf mocked and made the punchline of a joke were innocent. 

Given the countless hours you’ve spent lying to the world and claiming Jesus while you’ve done it—I think you got off easy.

I guess in your eyes, she did get off easy as far as a comedian’s monologue. But leave it to you, a pastor, to really give her hell. That definitely represents Christ well. 

1 Comment

  1. Wiki

    May 19, 2018 at 2:15 am

    Hello ,

    I saw your tweet about animals and thought I will check your website. I like it!

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    I have even created an Instagram account for them ( ) and probably soon they will have more followers than me (kinda funny).

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    Keep up the good work on your blog.


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