Welcome to the first edition of the “Happy Hour” here at Pearls & Vodka.
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Now on to the good stuff.
Tonight is the first edition of the “Happy Hour” here at Pearls & Vodka.
Happy Hours at Tortilla Coast were some of my favorite events living in Washington D.C. Sure, the drinks are cheaper at Happy Hour typically, and that leads to staying out longer, more conversations, and you know how that goes; the longer you stay, the more you drink, the more you say. The conversations at Happy Hour jump faster than celebrities who get startled on the Ellen Degeneres Show.
That being said, the new Happy Hour segment of Pearls & Vodka will be a rapid round on some of the events of the week that is ending. It’ll cover a myriad of topics. It’ll hopefully have a little something for everyone.
So, grab your Happy Hour beverage, even if it’s a Sonic Happy Hour Strawberry Limeade, and enjoy!
Fat-Shaming is acceptable…as long as your name is not Donald Trump.
In August 2015, during the first Republican presidential primary debate, moderator Megyn Kelly asked Donald Trump about his use of language like “fat pigs,” “dogs,” “slobs” and “disgusting animals” to describe women. Without skipping a beat, in typical Donald Trump fashion, he interjected, “Only Rose O’Donnell.” The audience was filled with gasps, applause, and laughter.
Social media, however, was appalled.
And it blew up that night. Rosie herself followed up by tweeting, “try explaining that 2 ur kids.”
Feminists have a lot of issues with Donald Trump, some rightfully warranted.
But where are the feminists when David Horsey of the LA Times says that Sarah Huckabee Sanders, “looks more like a slightly chunky soccer mom who organizes snacks for the kids’ games”? 
Silent, per the usual.
In full disclosure, Mr. Horsey did come back and remove the statement from his article after he faced some criticism and Fox News approached his news organization for comment.
He also took the time in this article to say that Ivanka Trump and Melania Trump are closer to the “Barbie dolls in short tight skirts” that he assumes President Trump prefers. I guess it’s not on Mr. Horsey’s radar that Ivanka is actually a cum laude graduate of the Wharton Business School at the University of Pennsylvania. Perhaps her skills in speaking English, French and Czech distracted Mr. Horsey. 
I’m not defending anything President Trump has said in regards to demeaning women. He has made some pretty awful statements. And, this is not an attack on the biased media.
It’s more of a statement about the ridiculousness of our culture.
We pick and choose when things are offensive. We refuse to hold everyone to the highest standards. We taut women’s rights and march in the streets with pink hats that are replicas of a woman’s private areas, but God forbid we stand up to a left-leaning publication and writer when they cross the line on degrading a woman. I guess as a society we save all that discord for Donald Trump. The rules must not apply if a liberal is the one fat-shaming.
Fact: fat-shaming is always wrong. And it’s even more asinine if you try to fat-shame someone who is not even fat, David Horsey! I don’t believe in all the “FAKE NEWS” claims of DJT, but calling Sanders “chunky,” is in fact, FACT NEWS Mr. Horsey.
While I’m on this tangent, stick to drawing cartoons Mr. Horsey, your writing is lackluster, at best.
By Halloween standards, Stranger Things and Moana are taking over the universe.
We were sorely disappointed at our house to not take part in “Weenie” this year. Apparently our 22-month-old thinks Halloween is called “Weenie, ” and our battle with strep throat, hand, foot, and mouth, and some aggressive ear infections kept us home and not out sporting our fireman costume. As it turns out, our son says “firetruck” “ambulance” between 2 and 5000 times a day, so I’m sure we’ll have plenty of chances to wear our costume regardless. Instead of knocking on doors for trick-or-treating we curled up on the couch and looked at pictures on social media instead.
Clearly, social media is the end-all, be-all, for information in our culture. And according to Instagram and Facebook, Stranger Things and Moana are taking over the world.
At least part of that works for our household; we’ve seen Moana so much that our DVD scratched in a 24-hour period and our Netflix just always assumes that’s what we will be watching. I find myself continually humming “make way, make way…” and “shiny…” and… well, you catch my drift.
We have not watched Stranger Things 1, or 2, yet, but it’s in the queue. Just as soon as Netflix removes Moana.
There’s “One Less Lonely Girl” in Hollywood.
Justin Bieber crooned, “But no more if you let me inside of your world, There’ll be one less lonely girl.” In a not-so-shocking twist, Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber appear to be back together again. It’s possible that they have gotten back together ALMOST as many times as we have watched Moana in the past seven days. Maybe this is it. Maybe this time. She’s definitely a Bieleber…at least this week.
Nine months later and a Tiger is (re)born.
Tiger Woods announced Monday that he would be making his return to professional golf after a nine-month recovery from his latest back injury. Woods’ foundation runs The Hero World Challenge in Albany, a resort in the Bahamas. It seems like a perfect event to return to for Tiger. Not only does his organization run it, but it’s a no-cut event. So, regardless of how poorly he plays, Tiger will be on the course that Sunday…barring any setbacks with his health and body, of course. Golf is more fun with Tiger playing, but it sure is depressing when he plays horribly.
Here’s hoping he’s found a way to play around his body’s continual revolting.
The Running Back with 9 Lives.
Fantasy football owners everywhere quickly picked up Alfred Morris this week as it appeared Ezekiel Elliott was finally going to be serving his suspension. But, in cat-like fashion, Zeke fights to eat in another game. I’m not sure how he keeps pulling this off, other than Jerry Jones must have strings to pull in every judicial system in the continental United States. I’m a Cowboys fan, and even I’m exhausted with this debacle. I thought the suspension was unfair from the beginning. The evidence was not stacked against Zeke; the NFL was trying to set an example with him. And as typical with Roger Goodell leadership, it imploded on them.
PSA: I am in no way advocating for lesser punishment against abusive people. Throw the book at them. Lock them up. Get them help. But the text messages from Mr. Elliott’s ex-girlfriend certainly painted a different picture than a 6 game suspension warranted.
Frank Underwood and Harvey Weinstein should share a jail cell.
With each day that passes since the allegations against Harvey Weinstein broke, another figure in Hollywood falls. Kevin Spacey has now been accused of sexually harassing a younger male costar some time ago. Since that news broke, more accusations have flooded in alleging sexual harassment by Mr. Spacey from the employees on the set of House of Cards. News broke this week, following Mr. Spacey’s bombshell that the show he plays Frank Underwood on, would be canceled. Many have leveraged that they should simply kill him off the show, Robin Wright’s character Claire Underwood has become increasingly popular recently anyway.
Why let his heinous actions ruin a great show?
Claire Underwood for President!
No one is above the law, including the Director of the FBI.
There has been a lot of speculation that President Trump would fire Robert Mueller. Let the media tell it, Jared Kushner is out of the will for advising the President to appoint a special counsel.
But today it was not Donald Trump that called for the resignation of Robert Mueller. It was Congressman Matt Gaetz, the Republican from Florida. He introduced a resolution calling for Mueller’s resignation because of the 2010 deal that the Obama administration approved giving Russia control of 20 percent of the United States’ uranium assets. Mr. Mueller was the Director of the FBI at the time and had evidence of Russian bribery. But, the DOJ waited until 2014 to file the charges. 
Now, for the record, I think Robert Mueller is an honorable man. I think he is perfect for the task of special counsel. I believe wholeheartedly he will get to the bottom of this.
Is Donald Trump behind this GOP resolution, possibly. But alas, it may hold some merit.
I am inclined to think the uranium deal should be investigated, but obviously by someone unrelated, meaning not Mr. Mueller.
Gaetz was joined by co-sponsors Andy Biggs of Arizona and Louis Gohmert of Texas.
The uranium deal smells fishier than Paul Manafort’s fake visas if you ask me. But only time will tell.
And with that, it’s time for…
A military judge ruled today that Bowe Bergdahl will not serve prison time for deserting his post in Afghanistan back in 2009. Instead, he will be dishonorably discharged with his rank reduced to private, as well as be fined $1,000 a month for ten months. You might remember Bergdahl was held captive by the Taliban for five years after his desertion and in 2014 President Obama exchanged five Guantanamo Bay detainees for Bergdahl. He faced up to life in prison for his desertion.
It’s not often these days that I can completely agree with President Trump, but I do today, when he said, the ruling was a “complete and total disgrace to our country and to our military.” 
Six American heroes died searching for Bowe Bergdahl.
In the wake of President Obama bringing Bergdahl back to the United States, members of his own battalion said on social media, “I say we welcome him home with a firing squad,” and “He’s a piece of trash.
Staff Sergeant Clayton Bowen. Private 1st Class Morris Walker. Staff Sergeant Kurt Curtiss. 2nd Lieutenant Darryn Andrews. Staff Sergeant Michael Murphrey. Private 1st Class Matthew Martinek. 
These six men did not come home. These six men did not get to “walk free” like Bowe Bergdahl.
These six families buried the remains of their loved ones who were searching for this punk.
It’s just wrong. I’ll never understand why he walks away a free man today. But then again, walking away is what he does best.